Hell's Kitchen Freezes Over
by UnstableUniverses
Summary: In the future Daredevil tries to stop a robbery, but things take a different turn when 3 people get in his way. Written for the Unstable Universes podcast.


**Episode III**

Daredevil

Frozen

Future Fic

The year is 2099, not that years mean much anymore. No one pays taxes, no one celebrates birthdays, and no one gives one good God damn about Easter anymore. The world has changed since the exodus, but my job hasn't: protect.

There aren't many of us heroes left. Parker and Stark were on the team that designed the transportation for the exodus, so they went with it. Most heroes went with them, claiming to protect the billions that left, but I know they just didn't want to be stuck cleaning up all the shit on Earth when any sense of law and order disappeared. Even the Heroes for Hire got hired off world for a long-term contract. And Elektra, my Elektra, well, some bullshit went down with the Hand a while back, and suffice it to say we didn't see eye to eye after that.

And so, I patrol. I prowl along my typical route, along the rooftops of Hell's Kitchen. Frankly, it hasn't changed much. It's always been a lawless hell hole, but hey, it's home. The rain was coming down hard tonight, giving me my sight back. It's an odd feeling getting to see again, totally foreign, like Mark Wahlberg trying to play a character from anywhere except Boston.

I stop running briefly to appreciate actually getting to see this godforsaken city for once. Above me fly a cacophony of machines: police drones, delivery bots, and flying cars. Below me, though, are my people, the people I serve. And I see one of my people being wronged.

Down below, on the ground, a group of men are surrounding a woman in an alley, and closing in quickly. I can hear the whirring of four plasma hand cannons powering up, and the sizzle of rain evaporating as it hits a lightsaber ( _AN: It's the future, so the copyright on all intellectual property from Star Wars has expired_ ).

"Hand over your extra-dimensional pocket holder, love" grunted the one with the lightsaber.

"Kristoff! Sven! ELSA!" the woman cried out. From half a block east, I heard three creatures come running. Two human, one was four-footed and hooved? Horses had long since gone extinct, so perhaps it was a goat destined to become this group's dinner.

The Jedi wannabe reached over and grabbed the pocket holder, trying to wrestle it away from her. I drop down next to this woman, my two little sticks drawn. She smelled of chocolate and fear.

"Who's this, then? Your boyfriend?" one of the hand cannon wielders mocked. "Superheroes left during the exodus."

"It's the goddamn future, can we not get past the patriarchal assumption that any man I come into contact with is my boyf–" The woman was cut off, not by the patriarchy, but by a blast of cold air rushing down the alley.

The rain coming down on us instantly froze, and my echolocation vision faded. Snow fell lightly around us instead, making a very fuzzy picture of what was going on around me. Two generally humanoid shapes and one large animal shape were walking toward us, crunching the sheet of ice formed on the newly frozen puddles under their feet.

"Let it go." Another female voice commanded. "I would highly suggest you run if you don't want to lose anything to frostbite."

Around me, the five men dropped their weapons and the pocket holder and ran, slipping on the fresh ice coating the ground. Three fell, one of them twice. I gave them a quick wallop with my stick, to motivate their exit a little bit more.

"You too, boy wonder" this other woman said coldly. "Back to the batcave."

"Wrong Affleck franchise," a male voice chided, the other humanoid shape next to this cold woman.

"The point still stands, _leave_!" The woman yelled at me, another cold blast in my direction. I heard the whistle of projectiles flying in my direction, and barely managed to knock away two icicles from puncturing my non-working eyes.

"Elsa, stop! He was just trying to help!" said the first woman from behind me. She ran past me and hugged the one with the male voice.

I turn to do as I'm told, I'm not much for overstaying my welcome. There was always another person to be saved in Hell's Kitchen. But this Elsa, I suppose, appeared to have a change of heart.

"Wait, stranger. Do you know this neighborhood well?"

"I've lived here my whole life." I reply, curious. Not many new people choose to come to Hell's Kitchen unless they have to. Even by the standards of post-exodus anarchy, Hell's Kitchen is a rat's nest of crime.

"We're stranded. Our, um, _car_ broke down about a half mile northeast of here. We're not exactly sure what's wrong with it," said the non-Elsa female.

The way she emphasized car was strange, as if it were a new term to her. Despite the fact that they fly nowadays, we still refer to our vehicles as cars. I'll have to keep that strangeness in mind.

"Well, I'm no mechanic, but I have a pretty good ear, so I might be able to sound out the issue," I offer.

"Any help would be appreciated, stranger," Elsa said, still cautiously cold.

"You can call me Daredevil."

"I'm Anna, this is Elsa. And these two gentlemen are Kristoff and Sven," I see the fuzzy snow shape named Anna gesture to her companions. The shapes of the human male, Kristoff, and the large beast, Sven, both bow in my direction.

I follow the group to their car. The snow continues to fall around us as we walk, leaving a trail of quickly melting ice in our wake. Elsa's aura of cold seemed to have about a ten foot radius, so everything close to us, I could see as fuzzy shapes, but beyond, the rain fell normally, and I could see with perfect clarity. So this is what it's like to be farsighted, strange.

We arrived at their car shortly.

"Fire it up, Kristoff," ordered Elsa.

The man did as he was told, and I could immediately hear a strange rattle toward the back of the car. I head in that direction, letting them know "Could you pop the trunk, I think there's something strange going on back there."

Kristoff hits the button, and I hear it click open. Elsa, Anna, and Sven stand close behind me as I open it. It appears to be empty, except for a large can. I lean down to reach inside when I feel a hefty kick to my rear end from two hooves. I tumble forward into the trunk and immediately I begin to feel much too cold for my liking.

"What in God's name is going on?" I demand.

"You've just been drafted. Welcome to the Off World Armed Services," Elsa replied, smug, as if she was a queen of some made up country.

My body slowed, and I could feel my consciousness fading. The next time I'd wake up, I would be off world, enlisted in a war I had never even heard of before.

THE END, I GUESS


End file.
